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11 April 2010 @ 11:12 pm
If you were 12 and could see yourself now, do you think you'd be happy or disappointed, and why?

I think a bit of both.

I would be proud of my values, my general character and happy about the things I got to know in these.. 7 years.
But still, I would be somehow disappointed. The me with no real friends besides my sister. There are friends, of course, but only those whom I can't tell everything, the time with my best friend Kathrin is long gone.

Maybe I would plan to change the way things worked out. Trying to keep my best friend, trying to get to know people who could become real good friends, whom I could trust.
But I would also see that although there's no "true" friend, and no boyfriend, girlfriend or whatever, I'm still living a happy life. Family fills up every hole there is. And all my interest in japan or asia in general, the knowledge about Arashi, Gackt, Ayu, Lee Hong Ki, Choi Si Won, Rainie Yang, Nicholas Teo,... I wouldn't have get to know about all that if I had chosen a different path.
So I think I'd be pretty happy about how things turned out. Still, with a bit of remorse.
Current Location: Home
Current Music: F.T.Island - Missing You
Awwwwwww ♥♥♥

Last night I watched the 10th episode of Still, Marry Me. And it let my heart beat so much >3< Such a cute episode (I had to download it, though I don't have much free space xD)! And the ending! I knew this would happen! It simply HAD to happen sooner or later! But at such a moment :< So mean!

Ah! And I watched the most recent episodes of Oh My Lady. Already 6 episodes subbed ♥ Was still waiting for number 5 on other sites, then I checked viikii again and there it was! Not only 5! But 6 as well! And it's so amazing! I think now nobody will say mean things about the drama! It's really getting better and better.
Siwon's expressions are so cute! And though the his character (Min Woo) seems really terrible from time to time, there are those moments which show that he's totally nice and cute! I loved it when he agreed to Kae Hwa when she started crying after the 10 seconds XD
And the end of episode 6!!!! ♥
I didn't expect it to happen this fast, since I'm still waiting for it on Still, Marry Me XD They sure are a lot faster!
But surely there will be some excuse like "Oh! The alcohol!" It's always the alcohol >_<

The last scene was just too cute, when she leaned at the refrigerator, he arrived in the kitchen, looked at her, the heartbeat (Yes, I totally thought of Heartbeat by 2PM XD), then she awakes and instead of having the scene disturbed, he just stares at her and then kisses her ♥ Awww I want a Min Woo for myself! Or just Siwon =P I'd be totally fine with such a great guy *prays to the heavens*
Especially when she closed her eyes, and how they hold each other... Awww... Just finished watching it and rewatching the scene a few times and I just had to write this XD

And I still need to mention... I ♥ Siwon! When he sang this episode, I was totally in awe ♥ I was just like Kae Hwa at the beginning, totally speechless and touched.

Just have to love this episode or generally the drama =P Next episode seems to be very exciting. Just one word: Jealousy! Kya x3
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: 4Minute - One Two Three
07 April 2010 @ 05:52 pm
If your pet could talk, what is the first thing s/he would say to you?

Hmm most probably things like
"Get me out of this thing"
"Don't ever bring me to the doctor!"

Such things. Surely!
My rabbit loves to eat salad or similar kinds of food. But she can't have it all the time.
And half a year ago she had a lot of space to run around freely. Now, because we moved, she can't run around that much =( Sorry Charly!
Oh and she hates the doctor. She always gets quite panicky, though the doctor is really nice and only wants to cut her nails :x
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: Jo Sung Wook – 못났죠
"A simple sorry can turn the world upside down. A sudden, unexpected one can bring 1 litre tears of joy. A long awaited, never-to-come one can bring 1 litre tears of sadness."

Some self written saying.

-Collapse )I saw something really shocking.
A message... of my former best friend...Collapse )

She apologized.

I have never expected this. I knew she drifted away, and I knew I still tried to save it, but she still chose to drift away. So I knew that it couldn't be that much my fault. At least I hoped so. I just couldn't explain myself what I could have done wrong.
Especially after surprise visiting her (she lives, or rather lived 300 or more km away) more than once. Though the last time I was really lucky to meet her there, because then I found out she was only there for holiday, to visit her family with her girlfriend. Since she moved to Berlin to live with her love.
I sure was lucky...
So I really hoped for some kind of explanation what I could have done wrong. Or what else was missing. I hoped I didn't do anything wrong but there always was the fear to be wrong about that aspect.
This message still couldn't tell me what went wrong that we ended up like this.
But she apologized, apologized that she had drifted away and still does, apologized that the apology might be too late, she simply apologized.
This means I can't have done something wrong,right? At least I'm still hoping, without any assurence.
Of course this message made me cry very much. I'm not sure if it was sadness about knowing the great time we had was over, long ago. Or if it  was joy from hearing or rather reading this apology.
Maybe it was both.

On the other hand. There's still an apology I wait for these last 10 years. And I don't try to illusionize myself. I'm absolutely sure, this apology will never find its way to me.
Even if the person is sorry for what he did, for what he said, he will never say an apology out loud, nor will he write it.
For me, apologies can turn the world upside down. If something really terrible happened, when a person really deceived me, a simple, but truthfully meant apology can turn me all over. I can forgive in an instant, or at least try it.
But if someone really hurt me, and there are only saying about wrong accusation (like it is in another case) or like in the case I truly wait for and need to hear a simple sorry... if there's simply nothing at all and somehow a try to do like nothing happened... Then I simply can'r forgive, I can't erase or try to push these memories out of my head.
Those moments, those moments when I think about these circumstances, make me cry 1 litre of sadness, of grief.
This attitude can destroy relations.
Or simply stop hurt ones to heal.

These last 24 hours sure are something... Again such an emotional entry. Sorry for that. But after the tears I had to let go of that.

Thanks for enduring with my long texts of whining, whoever reads this.

And still playing Ho Ngoc Ha - "My Apology"
It really fits.
Such a song for example. An earnest search for forgiveness with saying sorry.... It could save relations.

So good night. Won't be awake that long anymore.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: crappycrappy
Current Music: Ho Ngoc Ha - My Apology
05 April 2010 @ 09:43 pm
Well... Kind of at least.
Usually I don't make any resolutions for the new year. Since I'm pretty sure I can't make them true.
I tried it once, but it failed. Nothing worked out.

So I didn't do it all these years. Because I simply knew the outcome.

But today is my personal new year! 5th april.... not such a special day, well the birthday of my sister-in-law, but that's it... Hmm still... it's decided today, even though the date isn't special!

1. Doing good at doing house choresCollapse )

2. Less chocolate and more drinks!Collapse )

3. Finally sports again! Collapse )

4. Going out moreCollapse )

5. Finding new friendsCollapse )

6. Boyfriend?Collapse )

7. Sweet HomeCollapse )

The magical 7 resolutions, hm?
I got quite emotional, but I'm still happy I wrote these things down. I'm sure there won't be people interested in this, but for me, it's important. It's written down, and not just in my head.
This makes me think that I'll really be able to achieve these goals.

Second post today... Wow! I should go on like this =P

Lastly: I'm still sad about the thing with DBSK, the "pause" or rather the disbandment. I hope they may start again in the future as the four boys being send from gods. Maybe with another agency? I hope it works!
Don't want to miss them forever as DBSK.
Current Location: Home
Current Music: Ho Ngoc Ha - My Apology
Yay, finally back from a lot of work in school and holiday. Now the writer's blog got me to post again finally! Thanks writer's blog! ♥

My holidays were somehow good, somehow bad. On the 20th I went to my sister in trier and we had lots of fun. I met some of her friends, we parted, we watched Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge (is that the right title  xD?) or simply perfect girl, from which manga it's an adaption. The drama was really good, though I doubted it at first, especially the ending with skull and kiss ♥ I laughed like a small schoolgirl x3
And the week was also really good.

But then on the 26th march, I went further to cologne. And woah... the first evening with my friends there was funny. But after that... I really regretted coming there. My ramble about the week, don't click if you don't want to endure this =PCollapse )

But hey, now I'm home again, enjoying my last few free days before school starts again.
And I'm really happy! After finally downloading some of Arashi's newer stuff like talks on Utaban and the last AnS episode, I feel like my love for them really didn't disappear one bit. I think it's just that I can't bring myself up to be that fanatic about new stuff of them or anything else, like I was before.
So ordinary attitude changing, which happens from time to time. I'm fine with that. Better than having my love for the boys disappear. It's as strong as it was before!

Ah and after my holidays,  I was quite surprised when I saw 3 new PVs on the jpop toplist on jpopasia. From Ayumi Hamasaki!
Hell yeah! I only watched two of the PVs and looked through a translation of both, but hell, I love these!
Especially the sound of them, the PVs themselves are interesting (sexy little things and lady dynamite).

Concerts, "My Apology" and Korean Runway, hell do I write much today....Collapse )

Well after that I watched the 4 episodes of Oh my Lady, which are currently available. Unfortunately I watched it on viikii and didn't turn off the comments =P well sometimes they were really funny, for those funny moments, I keep it turned on, but all those bashing comments about how boring the show is or how ugly chae rim would be,... I was really angry! If it's boring, just don't watch it! Or don't make your comment visible in the video, just write it without a time, or just THINK it! And she'*s ugly? Hell no! >.< She's so pretty! And the hair is only that way because she portrays a 35 years old divorced woman who cares alone for her young daughter! It totally fits!
This said... I love the drama! I started watching it because of Chae Rim (I loved her in Dal Ja) and then I discovered Choi Siwon! Wow! When I watched my first PV of Super Junior I absolutely fell in love with him ♥ And then I saw him on the show. Such a niice coincidence ♥
Can't wait for the next episodes.

Still Marry Me ♥ Added to favourite dramas after first 4 episodes =PCollapse )

Collapse )don't think I only watch it because of all those hotties, male or female, the story that revolves around those characters is simply great.
Romance, Humor,  Excitement, this drama has it all.

So... Watching it further... I still have 12 episodes to go =P

See you!
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: Ho Ngoc Ha - My Apology
05 April 2010 @ 05:54 pm
If it were possible to clone a same-age version of yourself, do you think the two of you would be friends? Do you think you'd enjoy each other's company or find the similar point of view boring?

I think... I would kind of enjoy it.
Often when I'm watching asian dramas or concerts, or just listening or looking at some particuliar thing (mostly from asia), I wish for someone who'd talk with me about it. If there were a clone of me... there's be a person like that for sure. Since the likings are the same.

Even sides of me like my laziness... it wouldn't disturb me that much. Because I'm okay with people who are lazy as me.
But I'm sure even if there weren't a moment when I'm disturbed by some of her habits, it would become boring some day. Not nesseraily after a day, or a week or even a month or a year. Just some day, even if it's 20 years in the future, I would be bored of the exactly same opinions and the attitude.

This could still work with a person similar to me, but not with an exactly same version of me.

So for some years, it could be really nice, but then... it would suddenly end. At the latest, when we fall for the same person =P Especially when it happens over and over again.

Oh and some kind of partner look day after day.... No way! Similar, alright, but an exact copy? Wouldn't last forever, that good relationship.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: Ho Ngoc Ha - My Apology
21 February 2010 @ 03:52 pm
Given the choice, would you prefer to be a world-class (visual or performing) artist or an intellectual genius? Which, in your opinion, would facilitate a more fulfilling career and social life?

Short answer: world class performing artist

Long Answer: Both options are nice. As an intellectual genius I could invent so many useful, helpful and life-aiding things. With those the lives of so many people could be improved or even saved. As a performing artist I could inspire people. From my experience the performing artists can be of so much help to people. Be it a motivation in life through the messages they send out through their songs or actions, or simply showing their sincerity and touching everyone's heart through this. There are also people who get a new meaning of life through a special song or through some special celebrity and thus stop thinking of commiting suicide or whatever.

I think both are important to be there in life. The intellectual genius helps more silently with inventions, discoveries and so on, while the world class artist does it more openly. But I would prefer to be a world class artist. Not because of the popularity I would have (though it's a fact, that intellectual geniueses aren't known or aknowledged that much even though they do so much for the people), but rather the possibility to simply be myself and send out some message, and see the result of it at the same time when people come to concerts, go to signing events or send letters. Then I would know: It's right what I do, it's important and it helps.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
Current Music: CNBlue - Tearsdrop in the Rain (korean version)
Here I am finally!
Took lot more time than I expected... The wedding days were too stressful to go online and then there was stress with my exams >.<
But this way, I have a lot more to talk about =P

First.. the wedding! It was really great! Both my brother and his wife looked so beautiful!
Wedding! Some pics and some a bit more about the personal stuff =PCollapse )
So here I am with my results from watching the first 12 episodes of 'You're beautiful'. It's not a review, that has to wait till I finished the whole series and I have enough spare time, but some sentences =P

First: I love it!
I already expected it to be good, since I read so many opinions about it, and in some polls to the autumn dramas, it got first place in so many aspects, like best drama, best couple, ... O.O But somehow I'm still shocked of how brilliant it really is!
The first episode already captured all my attention for this whole series.
Awesome cast, brilliant story, great songs, simply everything is like WOW ♥__♥
This should do for the beginning xD Oh wait! Some pics!

Behind the cut ;DCollapse )

Ah and that brings me to my last point this day. I have to do something! The last two weeks CNBlue brought me to not do anything for my Arashi-love!
I actually only discovered this a few days ago. People talked about the Music Station performance and I was like 'W00t?! I didn't see anything of it yet! I have to download it!' and it took some time before I found it in some entry of arashi_on, because it was already like... almost a week ago.
And this started because of CNBlue and 'I'm a loner'! CNBlue, Yong Hwa brought me to the drama 'You're beautiful' and this drama brought me to Lee Hong Ki! And a bit also to Jang Geun Suk, although I didn't listen to that much of him yet.
So the last two weeks, I was either totally into CNBlue, on the wedding, fascinated of Lee Hong Ki's voice or trying to get more music of CNBlue/Yong Hwa, Lee Hong Ki or Jang Geun Suk.

Here are some pics of those three guys
Again behind the cut ;D Just a bit more pics than I intended to post xDCollapse )

I fall more and more for these! And my Arashi-love is suffering from it. The last two days I tried to cure it with several HnA episodes and downloading some new subbed stuff. But still.. I feel like it's not enough :< Before everything with these new discovered korean diamants, I did much more for Arashi :< I really need to work more for them! After all, they're still my no.1 ♥
So I need to find a way to somehow balance my new love for these koreans with my love for Arashi ò__ó

One last mentioning of Lee Hong Ki here... F.T.Island seems really awesome ♥ Again a typical band and no boyband. And Hong Ki's voice is so brilliant.
For now I can't stop listening to 'Bad woman' ♥

So see you! *tries to balance everyting, though it will surely only work after watching You're beautiful*
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
Current Music: F.T.Island - Bad woman
Today not much happened.

Well I finished almost all the preparations for my outfit for the wedding on friday! Yay :D
The dress is ready and not damaged anymore, the present is at home, I've got my shoes, an idea for the hairstyle I'll try out that day,... So the only thing I still have to do  is packing everything together. Because right after my final lesson tomorrow, my mom and me'll leave to get to my brothers, so we can be there in the evening. (Ah and before I'll get on the bus home, I'll get some new earrings, suitable for my outfit :D)

So because there wasn't that much to do today, I looked for some train tickets. I'll visit my sister and some friends in the eastern holidays, so one ticket to my sister, one from my sister to the friends, and one from them to my home. 3 tickets... and the cheapest way I could find is 90 euros for everything =/ Though I have to take the train to my sister one day later than I actually intended, too bad.
Still, in comparison to usual tickets, I really found a quite cheap way. Don't have any other choice anyway.

One last word today... I'll try to watch "Still marry" and/or "You're beautiful" (finally) today. And I hope I can go online at my brother's tomorrow, then I'll write my first impressions of the drama(s).

(random music in itunes right now, because of the shuffle xD Bodo Wartke - Andrea :>  I love that song! Especially because that's my name xD)

Oyasumi ♥
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: Bodo Wartke - Andrea